I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
