Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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