If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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