HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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