Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
