ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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