He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
