why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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