We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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