It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
