I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
