I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
