At least make sure they are 18
Why
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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