this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Randomize
