Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
