my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
