No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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