If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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