So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
