she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
