No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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