Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
is that a dick in a sweater?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
