in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
