I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
