your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
