i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
