Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
