I'm going to jail i love you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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