I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize