don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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