I think i peed on brittanys purse
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
