she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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