Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
