It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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