the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
