i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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