Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
