meet me or not, i'm out of control
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
