Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
