I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
