That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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