Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
