Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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