i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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