Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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