nut hugger
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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