Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
