They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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