I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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