It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
