I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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