I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
