Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
His nipple licking is glorious
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