Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
