i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
