Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
