My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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