Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A+ Viking dick
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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