I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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