how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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